if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
