i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
