no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
This is the prime rib incident all over again
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize