I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
