he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
