physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
