Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We are all done wearing pants today
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
