I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
