hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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