Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
