Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
