I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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