Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize