Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
