oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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