do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
