You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
