Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
