Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
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