This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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