I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
