and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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