i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
