kristin has been a bad kristin
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
