they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
