I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
