After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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