Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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