$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
