I wish I only lived at night.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
