I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
