Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
