We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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