I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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