He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
