i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
