I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
