Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
