I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
