turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
