i already hear my dad disowning me
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
