Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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