Is it because I queefed?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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