Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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