Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
