I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
