That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you will always have a special place in my vag
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
we're so committed to being not committed
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
