with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
