3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
