I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize