It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
