I'm going to jail i love you
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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