Duck Duck Cougar?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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