Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
