I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
