He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize