No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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