chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
