so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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