just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Randomize
