He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
