so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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