he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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